This is outright bullying….TT-TT

[2:00 am TW]

Phone: *Him* sent you a Candy Crush request 

Me: (￣ー￣)

Him: HAHA

Me: You…..seriously

Him: 又過一關了／I just passed another level 

Me: OTL

Him: 快追到你囉／ Gonna catch up to you soon ~

Me: Is this a competition???

Him: 不是，是追求／No, it’s a pursuit 

Me: You’re pursuing me??

Him： Hehe 

Me: What if you passed me?

Him: 說100次妳愛我／ You have to say that you love me 100 times 

Me: Σ（・□・；）

Him: 然後每過一關還要再說100次／ And then for every level I pass after that, you still need to say it 100 more times 

I hope that you know - 
that I miss our deep night talk
that time when we poured our hearts out 
to each other without any reservation
that mutual addiction, boundless desire to know everything about each other 
And I miss listening to the sound of your heart beats
feeling your chest rising and falling in that fascinating rhythm
I miss the way you gently scolded me “dummy” 
how you hugged me from the back 
how you shoved my cold hand into your jacket’s pocket

And I hope that you know - 
I still think of you, every hour of everyday 
Wondering if you are the same 
Fighting every fiber of my being to not give in 
to this impulse to talk to you 

I hope that you know - 
That when I said I want to leave 
All I really wanted was for you to say
That you want me to stay 
And even though it won’t be easy
We can work it out somehow 
Because you love me that much 

But 
        you   
                 let 
                        me 
                                leave. 


Yet, here I am. 
Still writing about you because 
I hope you know that 
I miss you. 

He has this really sweet habit of messaging and then phoning me whenever he gets home. This still applies when he’s beyond drunken. I just feel really touched how he remembers to phone me even when he literally forgets about everything else. 

P/s: And dear, I KNOW when You’re drunk, so don’t even try. 

Typical.

I’m like a mood ring. I’m so easily influenced by people’s mood. 

I did this to him all the time, hahaha. He got startled and tried to get away from me. “Don’t touch me, your hands are so cold”, he said. But in the end, he still held my hands. His hands, they are always warm. 

If you have so much time to judge

• What I am spending my time doing 
• Who I am dating
• The appearance of who I love
• Why I am not getting out of the house 
• Decisions I made
• Basically how I’m living my life 

Then, based on seniority, I would respectfully suggest that you should either GET A LIFE or GO FUCKETH THYSELF! 

First of all, is it any of your business who I love?

Second of all, is the appearance all you care about in a person? 

Third of all, what right do you have to judge him when you don’t even know anything about him? Oh please, I don’t think you even know what his name is. I’m sure you don’t even care.

I don’t know why I am crying so hard right now. I was just talking to my sister. I feel really incompetent, irresponsible, useless and worthless as her sister. I’ve been really selfish, all I thought about was only myself. I just miss being silly with her so much. All these years. All these years…I don’t want to be pushed to grow up. But it’s time…I need to think about my family more. I need to work harder, being more independent, so I can take care of them. 

My wifey said that I’m generally really calm and collected that she couldn’t see me spazzing over celebrities or things. For me this can be taken 2 ways: it’s either a compliment or that I’m not capable of displaying human (fangirl) emotions. 

I think it’s just that she haven’t seen me screaming at the Macbook when I’m watching dramas and anime yet. Oh, and she wasn’t there to watch Show Luo’s concert with me either <= the highlight of my fangirl career. 

P/s: Dear wifey, please don’t forget that once during our second year, we missed our stop on the CTrain because we were fangirling over Show Luo together. 

Random Facts about me

I have Candy Crush buddies on Facebook. We help each other to pass levels by sending each other lives and tickets. That’s how we show our friendship and love lol

I should really get started on doing some work when I feel a tiny bit of “okay”, because self, you never know when your feelings are gonna bottom out again.

…

…

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Which is now.